When Mom Isn’t the One to Help
I recently saw a young man stranded on the side of the road from a flat front tire. He was holding his cellphone and staring at the various parts he had gathered to complete the task. It was clear from his body language that he didn’t know how to change this tire. As I drove by I thought about when I had to flag down strangers to help me when I needed it. I thought about how nice it is to have roadside assistance now. I mentally moved on to enjoying the “Idiot News Network” that my boys and I were listening to, giggling over news that a man in Japan was imprisoned for dating 35 women at the same time. On my return carpool trip, I notice the young man was still there. I felt bad, but I wanted to help even if I couldn’t. I drove home and headed out for a run on my favorite loop that takes me past the earlier scene. To my surprise, he was still there an hour later. He looked dejected. As soon as I crossed the street to offer help, another car pulled over and a man in painter’s clothes got out and asked if he needed some help. The flat tire man declined, said he was ok. The passerby asked a second time, affirming it was no trouble for him to help with the tire. The young man again replied that he was ok. I was like, really? Really? As the passerby turned and headed back to his car, the flat tire fellow yelled out that he actually could use some help if the man didn’t mind. I ran on and by the time I finished my loop, the men were parting ways, tire on and problem fixed.
I thought about the scenario for awhile. I felt impressed by the generosity of time and talent spent, especially on a stranger. I asked the Lord to impress this in my brain. What the Spirit cemented in that run home was my need to allow there to be passersby who help fix problems in my children’s lives. It’s not always going to be me. Even if I’m standing right there across the street seeing them struggle, it’s not always going to be me.
I am so willing, like in James 5:19-20, to go rescue and turn someone around. I feel this especially with my own children if I see them struggling or even going down a path I have been down. However, they don’t always need me to be the 1st responder. Sometimes I may be the one to help and advise, instruct, and comfort, but I have to be prepared for when it’s not me, and rest that it will be ok. As a teacher, exhorter, and mother it is my default mode to jump in and try to help. I’ve been solving problems for them for years. It’s parenthood. But then one day it gradually stops being how it is. Maybe now it’s friends, a small group leader, a therapist, a dating relationship they are in. We stop being the ones they initially turn to. Seeing how the passerby provided in a time of need for this flat tire fellow, reminded me to pray for those who will and already are alongside my children to help them.
The Best Advocate
I was reminded to pray that the Holy Spirit will be their go-to person, their number one. That the helper Jesus left for believers will be the one they seek. I was reminded to ask Him to guide them, search them, illuminate scripture/truth for them. I am confident that He will be the best and wisest voice they will ever hear. I love the part of Daniel 3 where the three young men are in the fiery furnace as it reminds me that there is another in the fire with my kids. If His presence is with them, they are already protected in ways I will never be able to, and supported in ways beyond my comprehension. The God of the universe is with my believing children, in their fire.
John 14:16-17 "And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— 17 the Spirit of truth..."
A Multitude of Counselors
I also was reminded to pray for people, like the passerby, to see my children and their needs and step into them. To pray that they will have professors, teachers, coaches, family members, neighbors, friends, ministry leaders, co-workers who will speak the truth to them and be a support in their time of need. Maybe someone for a season of their life, or someone for the long haul, either way, I just need to keep praying. I need to be praying for a multitude of counselors for wisdom, support, and guidance.
"Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors, there is safety." Proverbs 11:14
Leaving Space for Miraculous Things
Lastly, I was reminded I have to be willing to let them struggle and figure things out. They have to learn to regulate their lives as they mature, learning to advocate, and graciously receive the help they need as well. Sometimes it takes sitting on the side of the road for an hour to humble ourselves enough to ask for, or to even receive, the help offered. I know I’ve been there. Once when my parents refused to bail me out of my problem, the course of my whole life changed because it left space for a God-sized intervention to show up and the problem was fixed. In the Old Testament, Jonah found himself in a mess of trouble, weeds wrapped around him, waves washing over him. The waters were closing in on him, yet God was the one who “…brought his life up from the pit…” (Jonah 2:5-6) and provided a rescuer in Jonah’s time of need. And guess what, it wasn’t Jonah’s mom. Someone else unexpectedly was the rescuer, and I think we’d agree things turned out pretty good.
