Unbound

I was hungover, broke, and stranded in an Arizona airport holding a cactus with Johnny Tuscon, as we girls called him, at my side. I was close to rock bottom. I had no money to buy a new plane ticket to Chicago (we had missed our flight), my credit card was maxed out (the convertible was way more expensive than planned), and my family wasn’t going to help this time (tough love was needed). Here I sat, in a fire of my own making, feeling and wondering how I ended up here.

I approached the counter to help my best friend haggle with agents about obtaining a replacement ticket, unfortunately, our charm was lost on her. I placed my small cactus on the counter hoping to be rid of this gem and its assaulting needles. A new agent walked by, and I asked him if he wanted my cactus. He stopped, told me he collected them, and it’s one of his favorites. So sure, he would take it for me. He then asked what was my trouble, and how he could help. My deliverer was here.

What I haven’t mentioned is that five minutes before, with Johnny Tuscon by my side and this cactus in my hand, I prayed a prayer. A prayer I’m quite sure I had prayed countless times. A prayer of rescue and deliverance. Something like, “Lord, I promise, if you get me out of this, I swear I will never do ___________ again. I mean it this time, I really do. Please help me.” I mean at that moment, my feelings and anxiety really meant those prayers, but the hold on my life was so strong that it was going to take a bigger intrusion into my heart than this prayer. But it was where it started.

This cactus loving agent was my ticket back to freedom, both back to Chicago and to Jesus. The prodigal was returning. The walk home had started. God used this desperate prayer, a cactus, and an unknown agent to show me His kindness. He wasn’t just an agent, he was the manager. He was able to finagle some things which landed us back in Chicago earlier than our original flight, at no cost. I cried for hours. On the plane. In the car. In my room. My walk home had begun. God’s kindness led me to repentance.

I share this because first, it is a faith emboldening story of God’s word jumping off the pages of scripture where it says in Romans 2:4, ” God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance”, but also because that day my spiritual chains came unbound. I was still in the fiery furnace of my life, but the restraint was gone, I was free. I, like the three young Israelites, was walking around in the fire unbound. I had many many things and relationships to repair and fall out damage which would follow me for longer than I would like to admit, but eventually, I emerged from that fire.

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego are hailed as heroes of the faith in Daniel 3 and Hebrews 11. Their fire was different than mine. I started mine. Their’s was forced upon them. However, in both stories, God sent someone to unbind them. I love that one of the 1st things King Nebuchadnezzar points out is that there are four people, and they are unbound. He doesn’t say they aren’t on fire. He doesn’t first mention that they are alive. He says they are unbound. Freedom is astonishing.

Because of God’s kindness and His presence in my fire, I too was unbound. Now I can walk around free, unbound because His presence is with me.

Immanuel. God with us.