She’s Ready

She’s always been ready early for developmental milestones. Walking at 6 months, potty trained at 18 months, reading at 3. Her favorite phrase was “self,” which meant she didn’t want any help. All these milestones she did on her own. Now today is her graduation day, and the same rings true. She’s always been ready. The problem is, I am not.

I sit here in an endless flood of tears as each ending milestone approaches. It still feels too early to me, but it’s always been like that. Seemingly too early for me and right on time for her. I have more things I want to do with her. I have more conversations I want to have. I want more days of doing nothing together, but she’s ready.

This great life awaits her in a few months. A life we have prayed for and dreamed of with her. A life she worked tirelessly to achieve these past four years. She did it all while under a high-achieving academic atmosphere, a global pandemic, and an undiagnosed bleeding disorder running in the background of everything she did. The achieving kept her stressed and up late at night, a pandemic canceled nearly everything that mattered, and health issues sabotaged simple moments taking a toll on her health and spirit. I admire her. Her strength. Her dignity. Her inner person. She endured. She excelled. She is ready.

I know it’s not about me, that this is what parents are for, training them up and sending them out. Sending them out to make a difference, be a light, change the world in which they live, glorify the One who made them. I’ve done my best to support this fantastic human being. I will stop having endless floods of tears, probably tonight as she walks across the stage as graduate #358 and receives a diploma that was no joke to get, that got her into a college that was no joke to get into, that will get her started on a life that is worthy of having her in it. The tears will turn into smiles, excitement, and peace.

When August rolls around, and we pack up her belongings, she may not feel ready. Goodbyes and unknowns are just hard, but that is the grace of a family and faith. We help carry each other through the seasons and point each other to the only source of peace and comfort we know, Jesus. The one who has been in every moment and for her all of her days. The One who knows she’s ready, even when I can’t see through the endless flood of tears and emotions. He knows #358 by name and has her life in His hands, and because of that, she is ready.