Battling for Control of the Unknown

Randall and Beth, from the popular show, This is Us, play a game called “Worst Case Scenario”. It is intended to calm Randall’s anxiety by talking through each tragic scenario that Randall might face. l related to these scenes, not so much that I do this game with my husband, as I am more apt to do them in my own head, but occasionally I may drag another in on the game with me. It has long been my habit when nervous, worried, or anxious, to envision the possible outcomes, look around the future and see what I see. What possibilities are there? What can I envision happening that I would need to deal with? This has long been a natural flow of thought for me, simply how I process it. I call it working backward. See, if I can go to the fictitious future and deal with what I assume or believe is waiting for me there and then work my way back to the present, it will give me a measure of control believing I have already thought it through and will not find myself surprised.

A counselor recently questioned my response asking why I felt the need to do jump into an unknown future. I was left with the realization that it is a form of control for me. I had been making agreements with fears in the future that I did not have the resources to deal with yet. Over 20 years ago I heard a phrase that I readily repeat and accept, “God doesn’t give you grace for the imaginary” (author unknown). However, He gives grace and strength in times of need. This is very different than planning for the future, and making wise decisions; my situation deals with the what ifs and not, the battles for control of the unknown. A battle generations before me have faced.

See, upon being freed from Egypt, the children of Israel did not know how they would survive their wandering in the desert. Nearly one month into wandering, seemingly forgotten, lost, and hungry, they cried out for an intervention. What they received was a daily supply of care and needs met. They weren’t told how long this season or wandering would last. They weren’t told the purpose except that they would know that He was their God. In the beginning, they didn’t trust Him to be their guide, their help, their daily bread. So, when the Israelites tried to grab for more control over their unknown tomorrows, the food rotted. When we have these desperate attempts to control tomorrow’s concerns, we often find ourselves stockpiling the wrong resources.

Exodus 16:12 "I have heard the grumbling of the Israelites. Tell them: In the evening twilight you will eat meat, and in the morning, you will have your fill of bread, and then you will know that I, the Lord, am your God." 

I have learned this year that God shows up with manna in unexpected ways. I have had countless mornings where I wake up to a text from a friend or even someone I hardly know, passing along something encouraging they heard, read, or felt for me. I have rarely started my day without some sort of manna given to me by someone else.

The days I must gather daily bread for myself, it is always there. If I find myself worrying about something in the future, more often than not, my personal study will be on that exact topic. It has been an uncanny season of seeing God speak to me through His word and His people.

This manna provision, the daily bread, is an immeasurable blessing of hardship. It is one we often do not know until we open our proverbial tent door in the morning and see what God provided. When He promises to never leave me or forsake me (Hebrews 13:5), I see it in these moments. When He says He is there to comfort and to guide me (2 Corinthians 1:3-4), I hear it in the prayers left on my phone from friends. When He says He is with me always (Matthew 28:20), I feel it when His word speaks directly into my situation. When He says not to worry about tomorrow because each day has enough trouble of its own (Matthew 6:34), I will keep my thoughts grounded in the grace and strength of today. When He says His grace and strength will be enough and given to me (2 Corinthians 12:9), I understand this at a deeply, personal level.

So if I find myself trying to play the “Worst Case Scenario Game,” I’m going to remind myself of Corrie TenBoom (Holocaust survivor) who said, “Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”